Love thy enemy

Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.”

Prayer:

Dear Lord may this testimony be more about YOU. May the things I write glorify You, may Your story inspire people who read this; may they feel Your everlasting love because You do not change.  Malachi 3:6

Lord, thank you for every teardrop that fell during those difficult times cos every teardrop led me closer to you.

Brief background:

2010- was probably the most eventful year of my life broke up with my long time BF who I thought I’d marry, RECEIVED JESUS CHRIST AS MY SAVIOUR, & December of that year,I dated a guy from work but discovered later on that he had GF. the long and the short of it were; I decided I couldn’t  (do it) and buried all my hopes for him (Don’t get me wrong I have done wrong things with him, I’ll spare you the details).

Romans 7:7 “do not desire what belongs to someone else”

2011- I travelled, this was my therapy to mend my broken heart. I was still leading a sinful life despite of but I know God was already working mightily in my heart. I was happy but not joyful. met a few good people who turned out to be my closest friends now.  MET A NEW GUY from a close friend who inspired me to be better. he was a good guy---an encourager, intelligent, SINGLE and a very good professional golfer! what can I ask for right? He was whom I wanted to be with but God had other plans. during the time we were dating he knows that the guy from work was still pursuing me. and he saw & heard all the drama - the endless phone conversations, & when I told the guy & girl to stop bugging me. This time I was already consistent with my Dgroup meetings, fellowship nights in Makati & my quiet time. I was sooo lost but Slowly God was changing my heart.

2 Timothy 2:23-26

23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Going back to the phone conversations this was when I got to talk to CANDY, who i mentioned earlier who was cheated on, betrayed and rejected. Of course, I already knew what her reactions would be. I was so confused at that time but there was a still voice in my heart that said pick up the phone. the voice also said, she had already gone thru enough, a close friend of mine told me not to talk to her or text her but I just had to follow that voice. Every conversation with her would always end up with either her crying or me consoling her, my apology wasn’t doing any good & not getting through to her (I know right? What was I thinking? I was in the middle of this) Candy was so shattered I could hear it in her voice. she wanted to see me but my discipler & my friend said that I shouldn’t. they said that I should let it pass and let God handle it. all those phone conversations would always focus around me or her future plans with that guy. I probably heard the worst possible thing that you could ever say to a person and it made me feel worthless, rejected & belittled. I cried to God and I asked him why but I have never mustered the strength to fight back, I surrendered to His will. Though I have gained a lot of insecurities, which I thought I would never have & yes, I have murdered her countless times in my mind but God would always hold me accountable.

Moving forward this was when God revealed me my life verses:

EXODUS 14:14 & PROVERBS 15:15

God gave me a sense of peace whenever I recite those verses but I know that I will always have that bondage of bitterness and unforgiveness.

God said love your enemies (Matthew 5:44) and die to yourself these was His specific orders.
There was a time when I thought it was all over-- 2012 was quieter. i still traveled, met different people all over and made happy memories. but come last quarter of that year, all hell broke loose. I decided to give that guy a chance. i brought him to church cos he said everything was ok now.
Next thing I know, our pictures with hate remarks went trending on facebook and a hella lot of drama coming from everywhere. I was so exhausted but then again God reminded me to stay silent  (I won’t expound anymore this is his story to tell)

Every day I battled it out with God esp during those times when people who are close to candy would just judge me straight up or say “sya ba un?” I shout to God & ask Him if it’s time to defend myself. But he would always say “Be still and know I’m God”. Psalm 46:10 He has given me the Holy Spirit to walk by faith and be in complete obedience.  Every day I pray that if God can forgive me through Jesus Christ then He could help me forgive Candy because she is a child of God and He loves her dearly.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t struggle but I wonder what if I opened my angry mouth and exposed my hard heart? Then probably our story would have been longer.  As I write this, God reminded me about 

Proverbs 18:20-21  A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

I have watched this from Pastor Robert Morris’ sermon “Value of Words” and he explained:

“THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES IS DEPENDENT UPON THE WORDS WE SPEAK”

So if you have a hard heart then you will speak of evil things which is considered as unpardonable sin but as long as you’re breathing, Romans 10:9

Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart and you will be saved!

Convicted about this cos I’m a straight shooter (frank) I’ve learned about the seven divine words to healing relationship and that is; “ I was wrong, will you forgive me?”

“Satan will stop everyone from loving God” and so it means it will stop you and me to love each other and I am very happy that by God’s grace He didn’t let Candy and I be won over by Satan!

Candy, My tweenie Riva & Carmi

(at the "A BEAUTIFUL EXCHANGE" retreat)

I’m in awe with how God orchestrates things. Most of the time, I think He’s hilarious!
Finally the climax of my story!!!!

Would you believe that close friend of mine who told me to shut up and to not talk to candy was the same person she talked to in a retreat? She was her facilitator and her prayer partner and to top it all off, our mutual friend the one who introduced Candy to CCF was bedmates with that close friend of mine!
Wow mind blown right?

My friend was telling me how God erased everything she knew about Candy (of course, I'm her friend, if she knew who Candy was then, her thoughts would have probably been tainted) she genuinely prayed with her. Again, it was proof that God was in control.

Candy told my friend of her desires to talk to me (they said that they had a very madrama encounter)-- I will leave this part for Candy to share. After the retreat, my friend called me up and while she was telling me the details of the story, I heard God told me “it’s time”. I was doubtful at first. I couldn’t chew on the things my friend was telling me but the next thing I knew, I was praying and unblocking Candy on FB. I messaged her first and it was the best decision that I’ve done out of all these years that I’ve been held captive of unforgiving. I thought in my mind that I have forgiven her fully but God said there’s no 3/4. I’ve attached our actual conversation so that whoever reads this will be blessed by God’s story.

                                          

Candy's response:

As soon as I read Candy’s messages, I fell on my knees and cried out to God profusely and said to Him "I thought you were done with me, I thought the fighting was over." I was praising Him and giving Him thanks because I never thought that a sinner like me would be used for His greater glory. He made true His promises and cradled me like a baby- it was an indescribable feeling. He actually made me feel the AGAPE kind of love. I felt like I was in the movies I cried TEARS OF JOY for about 30minutes! I cried after that for several times while I was sharing it with my mentors cos the impossible became possible the Holy Spirit made me believe and be hopeful in Him. it’s like having the fruits of the Spirit come inside me all at once I was reminded that it was no longer me but HE who lives in me! Galatians 2:20

The values of our prayers are dependent deep inside of our hearts (willingness, passionate & committed.)

Jesus can make you believe that you CAN if you CAN’T only if you believe!

God is merciful that even if you have doubts just pray, be honest and He will definitely change your heart!

Candy was once my enemy but now she is my sister in Christ!

Romans 1:8-12 “ what I mean is that both you & I will be helped at the same time, you by my faith and I by yours.

Jesus has won today, tomorrow, forever & always! God loves His people! 

Thank you Father for the fresh start! You are indeed the God of perfect timing, peace, healing & restoration! To you be all the glory, honor and faith!

I love you Holy Spirit! I love you Jesus! I love you Father God!