Press on

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

- Calvin Coolidge, was the 30th President of the United States. 

Getting to the finish line would require you to not take criticism or lost personally, Denial doesn’t mean rejection and that persistence will be your ally. Lastly, do what you love.

~The truth is that the people who live the life of their dreams take risk. And on top of that, they persist. And on top of that, they trust themselves. And on top of that circumstances don't hold them back, because they know that they are more powerful than their circumstances. And on top of that they know that it's not about how much money you have, but how much passion, willingness and dedication you have to make your dreams come true. And on top of that they know that no one defines what's true for them except them. And on top of that they know that Plan B is not an option because it's a distraction from Plan A. And on top of that they just don't give up because that is who the hell they are!

What is missing from your life? Know that it is missing because you are most likely not giving it. Bring to your life what you want from it.

We just got to keep on running the race, our eyes focused on the trophy, even if we stumble and fall.

Just keep swimming!

I have been a bum for three months and I can’t help but be annoyed with myself because up until now I couldn’t predict what’s going to happen with my life or let’s just say that I’m so worried about my future because I feel like there is nothing really productive with what I’m doing now, since I have set high standards to attain my dream in time.

As a Christian, we are taught to have faith.  Faith in our God or let’s put it this way, faith in anything that is a higher power or in ourselves etc. and I must say that I’m having troubles regarding that matter now I’m losing faith in myself. There I said it! I couldn’t believe for the first time ever in my entire life that I’m doubting myself, my capabilities to pursue my lifelong dream to become a highly skilled architect just because I couldn’t get the job that I want and I couldn’t accept the fact that I have idle time. I thought to myself “I don’t think le Corbusier or I.M PEI had lazy days or an ‘I am a bum’ on their foreheads, or telling that to their friends, like seriously? I don’t think so!!!”

Well, they say actually it’s a proverb “Faith without action is dead” but what does it really mean?  So what I did was, I typed in faith first and did shift F7 in ms word and I was given a bunch of synonyms but the word that caught me was trust. The offshoot of faith and trust is? Guess what? Yup, CERTAINTY.  And damn, that’s the word that I have been looking for! If there is certainty in my life right now then I wouldn’t even bother to write a blog but there’s none. That’s why instead of looking for certainty and perfection in our lives we are all taught to have faith because having faith in ourselves, in an idea, or in a cause and trust that we are guided for a perfect solution and outcome would make us step out of our boxes and grow. It gives us hope that our future will be better than the present and that we can create it no matter what our circumstances now.

So here comes action obviously, you can’t win a lottery if you don’t bet on it and take a risk, it only means that our actions prove that we have faith. Otherwise it’s just a stupid mental erection.

Vice versa, “action without faith is dead” we tend to settle for what is good and not the best because we lack faith and trust that builds up fear and scarcity consciousness, that we tend to set ourselves up for not having a good outcome. Rather than putting our actions into something important, we end up chasing our tails.

So to end this, all I can say is that I am learning to have faith in myself the hard way. Actually I think every time I experience something awful, I lose faith and it shouldn’t be that way so instead, I tell myself “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” as dory in finding nemo says.

Making an effort means it is out of your convenience.

Sometimes people couldn't grasp the idea of it,they tend to be in their selfish shell, maybe because most of the time they feel like what they're doing is enough or maybe, after all it is really not that important to them.

Memory like an elephant

Lovin' the sun in San Juan, Batangas

Free fresh buko's from the owner

For me the only way to recuperate from a broken heart and a screwed up life is to travel. I don’t know where I got that idea from but it’s kind of an automatic thing for me to do every time I feel miserable. In these past few months of traveling, soul searching/ being a bum to be exact, had made me realize how blessed and loved I am.  Of course, I thank our dear Lord God for everything that he has bestowed upon me. Having the money to finance my trips, my good friends who have supported me and lastly, the undying love and encouragement of my family pulled me into the abyss that I was in. so what better way to start any trip is to go where you are accepted or let’s just say your comfort zone or your turf and for me that is BATANGAS, San Juan to be exact. I’m a beach person, so is the rest of my family, I brought a long with me my cousin Lei since it was also her birthday the next day. It was our first time to go by ourselves, we’re anxious of what’s going to happen since we didn’t get any reservation, it was sort of a spur of the moment decision, it only took us 30 minutes to make up our minds and next thing we knew we’re beach bound! Depression eats you up, like a maggot decaying its victim; it leads you to scrape off the infected part of your skin. Yes that's my Batangas trip.i kicked over the traces, I got drunk, lashed out, crying is really not my thing I tried though, until I felt numbness crawling over my skin, that’s what I’m trying to achieve anyways but I’m glad because after that realization is slowly taking place.

Boat ride to Coron Islands

 Let’s move forward to my CORON trip, TOUGH I must say because during this trip, I’ve accepted my fate and that is to move forward and never look back. I was with my Chinese friends by the way!

Olympic village, Beijing

So I love everything that is Chinese so after coron, I went to BEIJING, CHINA. This trip had serendipity and magic written all over it! This is where I met my close friends Riva and Nikki and of course, in this trip our friendship was tested. last but not the least Kookie. i really enjoyed this trip, it’s the time that I’m slowly coming out of my shell sharing my thoughts again, being inspired with the independent girls that I’m with, having those long girly talk while roaming around the stressful Beijing was fun and worth it and lastly, I’m happy because during those times I know that I’m over it. I said adieu to depression and welcomed the new me!

Riva and Kookie

Dianne, Olga and Misha

When I got back from china, I told myself that i’m ready to go out again and move the chains, after a month and a week of hibernation, I decided to go to Attica, my dreaded place. I felt as if, I was a lost ball in the high weeds but I told myself that I should kick the can down the road, since it was kookie’s birthday, Beijing reunion and to meet with my lovely friend Misha. Long story short the night was fun, spontaneous and magical. This is where I met Carl who was introduced by Riva, He is a Pro golfer, who smiles even when he’s talking, uber talkative but entertaining. He’s weird and cool at the same time. Little did we know that Riva was doing an acid test, kudos for her it worked out and it is above par for the course! 

Carl and I

After a month of fun and games, a milk run here and there. I marched to the beat of my own drum and decided to accept the invitation of Carl to watch his tournament in CEBU. Thank God because I was with Misha or else I’d be walking to the greens alone, probably commit suicide afterwards. There I was introduced to a golfer’s life and such but I can say that I’m pleased as punch! Our experiences there were poetry in motion. (Marriot, Crimson Resort, Water front and Cebu Golf course)

Crimson Resort

Carl and Ryan putting

Let's jump to DUBAI my much awaited vacation that turned out to be the most epic of them all,i had a ripper of a time there, stayed there for 3weeks, spent quality time with my mom, bonded with my uncle and his wife, with carly on the last week and lastly, consummated love with the penguins. They said UAE can do anything except for their weather, true enough because I've experienced 42 friggin degrees celsius while i was there,  though i enjoyed the 24 hour non-stop air conditioning at home and inside the malls...................to be continued

LIFE... You just got to live it!

What a whirlwind of emotions! Recently, I have learned and became aware of selflessness, vulnerability and living life at the present moment. I thought mastering my emotions was enough to keep me going. Actually, I just thought I have mastered it. I realized that no matter how great things are “sometimes, something so precious can be snatched away from you in any moment” no matter what the reason is.

I have dealt with confusion, self esteem and pain. I told myself that the only solution to my problem was to handle things differently the way I used to before. I could easily walk away from it but then I found myself feeling that there is more to it than having the option of letting go. It took me a lot of courage to confront and to say what I really feel. Yes folks! Finally, I learned how to cry and be in that moment, no holds barred, and just letting it all out! I grieved for my losses and mourned for myself. I felt really well afterwards and I’m grateful. Handling my frustrations wasn’t easy but then I learned how to make it short-lived. God taught me how to see the person next to you as a blessing, no matter how they did you wrong. So I told myself that I should value the purpose of it and see life worthwhile. I’m still on the verge of acceptance that life won’t be the same anymore. I also learned that in every problem there are options that you can work with, it’s not about pushing what you want or desperately choosing the path where it won’t hurt more but for you to give it a chance, try it out and give your all. So at the end of the day, you could tell yourself that you have lived life without regrets. Why stop something so great? Point is love is not for the faint hearted.

If you believe in something so great, you’ll do everything to make it work. Yes, you shouldn’t stop anyone from achieving their dreams but dreams and goals in life shouldn’t be a hindrance on love because love and dreams can work side by side if you let it. We can have it both. It should have that one goal, no matter how difficult life is at the end of the day, after the work, the drama of your individual lives, you’ll opt to be together and that’s what you call support. My experience and the people I met last night inspired me to write this because I saw pure love and support for one another and they are an old couple, who I must say is experiencing the toughest time in their relationship but they’re together walking hand in hand with the hurdles that are given to them. They said, not directly though, “Chase your dreams and happiness, don’t be afraid. We only live once. Be selfless and choose to make people happy other than yourself”. Most importantly, I learned that we make our lives difficult in not choosing to live in the now. We overanalyze it and we end up screwing things up and that is the greatness of the present moment. If it’s God’s will to end it, it will end. Oh, and that phrase Carpe Diem? Make it your mantra.

It is my prayer that we find that one person who would love us and support us in our frailties, our dreams. But of course it should be quid pro quo. It feels good to have someone who’ll love you for your beauty and your quirks but we have to make sure that we are complete before diving into the unknown, short-comings and all. Let us recognize the feelings of others, be thankful, appreciate, be honest and open-minded. Most importantly, have faith in other people.

Let us all embrace the beauty of life and that is to be hurt, to learn, to love and to be loved.

“Let’s stop and consider God’s wonders”

Chasing rainbows and ended with a pot of gold

It is funny how realization takes place when you are in deep depression or loneliness. It drives you to ponder on things that you wouldn’t normally think about. Loneliness eats you up until you decide that you can’t do it any longer or maybe when you feel like your tear ducts couldn’t release tears anymore. After the crying, sulking, cursing, hating and other emotions that bring you down subside, it’s the time when you ask yourself, why am I even crying? Is this even worth it? And so there, the magic of realization takes place.

My change of perspective began when the guy that I was dating for four years left me. I thought that I would never experience this again, relationship wise. I thought that my relationship would make me walk down the aisle and live happily ever after. I was too complacent, too blinded with love that I overlooked who I am, the things that make me happy. I shut down the people who really care for me, my family, my friends and even opportunities.  And in the process it sucked the life out of me. It took everything and what is left of me. I lost my self esteem, confidence etc. I can say that it shattered me. Our relationship was an area of my life that I declined to submit to God. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself why it ended. I have become selfish and I disregarded all the good values that were instilled in me. I felt so in debt to God because that was the only time that I prayed fervently. I didn’t like crying. My body has an automatic switch that goes off when I feel like I’m about to cry. When we broke up I think I cried for just 10secs and it stopped there. I was so confused on what to do. I partied every day, got wasted until I fall asleep, grabbed every activity that I could, to be busy. It’s hard to admit this but I had always been a flirt who lived for the buzz of romance, just to forget and somehow feel happy. I’ve been running away from one thing, but unconsciously running towards something else. Then after awhile when I thought that I was moving on the real challenge came, we met and talked again. It was there that I realized that all the partying was just short lived happiness. I was depressed again. Actually the pain was heavier and the fact sank in: that I could never have him back, even if he tells me that maybe someday blah blah well, who wants to be in limbo? One Sunday morning, when I learned that my ex was moving on and has someone already. I called up my friend and vented out. We were really not close but I know that there was a purpose why I chose to talk to her. Slowly, and in spite of my resistance, God peeled away layer after layer of wrong thinking, wrong values and wrong desires. He changed my heart. God sent His instrument for me to realize that He wants to talk to me and for me to know that He is there. My friend and I started praying; all of a sudden I was crying profusely not because of my ex but because I felt the love and presence of God unveiled in my heart. Loneliness started to fade away, every prayer that I have right now becomes fruitful, and my conversions with Him becomes my strength to move forward. He sees me, He loves me, and I’m the apple of His eyes. He taught me on how to be patient, to give without asking anything in return and lastly, on how to be happy by myself. All the while I thought He was just giving us a challenge (my ex and I) but no. He wanted me to learn all these things for me to be able to understand that I need to be a whole person first before submitting myself to someone, ”That I don’t need to chase love but to attract love. Love would find us as we embody it.” This is just a small part of let’s say my hell months of bad/wakeup call experiences because there is also this thing about my career and a jump from one relationship to another.  Oh how I wanted that relationship to work but then God gave me the nudge again and tells me “you’re not ready for this”. Sometimes, I jokingly pray to God and ask Him why He loves me so much, to give me such problems but after ranting, He tirelessly tell me and shows me that He loves me in ways unimaginable. And so now looking back, all I could say is that I don’t want it to happen any other way. Yes, I’m still rickety and gullible but I know that I’m on the right track towards my goal in being the best person with confidence, good judgment and patience. I will never again abandon myself to please another.


All I can chase right now are my dreams because I know God is still writing the best love story for me, whoever you are I know you’ll find me