Love thy enemy

Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.”

Prayer:

Dear Lord may this testimony be more about YOU. May the things I write glorify You, may Your story inspire people who read this; may they feel Your everlasting love because You do not change.  Malachi 3:6

Lord, thank you for every teardrop that fell during those difficult times cos every teardrop led me closer to you.

Brief background:

2010- was probably the most eventful year of my life broke up with my long time BF who I thought I’d marry, RECEIVED JESUS CHRIST AS MY SAVIOUR, & December of that year,I dated a guy from work but discovered later on that he had GF. the long and the short of it were; I decided I couldn’t  (do it) and buried all my hopes for him (Don’t get me wrong I have done wrong things with him, I’ll spare you the details).

Romans 7:7 “do not desire what belongs to someone else”

2011- I travelled, this was my therapy to mend my broken heart. I was still leading a sinful life despite of but I know God was already working mightily in my heart. I was happy but not joyful. met a few good people who turned out to be my closest friends now.  MET A NEW GUY from a close friend who inspired me to be better. he was a good guy---an encourager, intelligent, SINGLE and a very good professional golfer! what can I ask for right? He was whom I wanted to be with but God had other plans. during the time we were dating he knows that the guy from work was still pursuing me. and he saw & heard all the drama - the endless phone conversations, & when I told the guy & girl to stop bugging me. This time I was already consistent with my Dgroup meetings, fellowship nights in Makati & my quiet time. I was sooo lost but Slowly God was changing my heart.

2 Timothy 2:23-26

23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Going back to the phone conversations this was when I got to talk to CANDY, who i mentioned earlier who was cheated on, betrayed and rejected. Of course, I already knew what her reactions would be. I was so confused at that time but there was a still voice in my heart that said pick up the phone. the voice also said, she had already gone thru enough, a close friend of mine told me not to talk to her or text her but I just had to follow that voice. Every conversation with her would always end up with either her crying or me consoling her, my apology wasn’t doing any good & not getting through to her (I know right? What was I thinking? I was in the middle of this) Candy was so shattered I could hear it in her voice. she wanted to see me but my discipler & my friend said that I shouldn’t. they said that I should let it pass and let God handle it. all those phone conversations would always focus around me or her future plans with that guy. I probably heard the worst possible thing that you could ever say to a person and it made me feel worthless, rejected & belittled. I cried to God and I asked him why but I have never mustered the strength to fight back, I surrendered to His will. Though I have gained a lot of insecurities, which I thought I would never have & yes, I have murdered her countless times in my mind but God would always hold me accountable.

Moving forward this was when God revealed me my life verses:

EXODUS 14:14 & PROVERBS 15:15

God gave me a sense of peace whenever I recite those verses but I know that I will always have that bondage of bitterness and unforgiveness.

God said love your enemies (Matthew 5:44) and die to yourself these was His specific orders.
There was a time when I thought it was all over-- 2012 was quieter. i still traveled, met different people all over and made happy memories. but come last quarter of that year, all hell broke loose. I decided to give that guy a chance. i brought him to church cos he said everything was ok now.
Next thing I know, our pictures with hate remarks went trending on facebook and a hella lot of drama coming from everywhere. I was so exhausted but then again God reminded me to stay silent  (I won’t expound anymore this is his story to tell)

Every day I battled it out with God esp during those times when people who are close to candy would just judge me straight up or say “sya ba un?” I shout to God & ask Him if it’s time to defend myself. But he would always say “Be still and know I’m God”. Psalm 46:10 He has given me the Holy Spirit to walk by faith and be in complete obedience.  Every day I pray that if God can forgive me through Jesus Christ then He could help me forgive Candy because she is a child of God and He loves her dearly.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t struggle but I wonder what if I opened my angry mouth and exposed my hard heart? Then probably our story would have been longer.  As I write this, God reminded me about 

Proverbs 18:20-21  A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

I have watched this from Pastor Robert Morris’ sermon “Value of Words” and he explained:

“THE QUALITY OF OUR LIVES IS DEPENDENT UPON THE WORDS WE SPEAK”

So if you have a hard heart then you will speak of evil things which is considered as unpardonable sin but as long as you’re breathing, Romans 10:9

Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart and you will be saved!

Convicted about this cos I’m a straight shooter (frank) I’ve learned about the seven divine words to healing relationship and that is; “ I was wrong, will you forgive me?”

“Satan will stop everyone from loving God” and so it means it will stop you and me to love each other and I am very happy that by God’s grace He didn’t let Candy and I be won over by Satan!

Candy, My tweenie Riva & Carmi

(at the "A BEAUTIFUL EXCHANGE" retreat)

I’m in awe with how God orchestrates things. Most of the time, I think He’s hilarious!
Finally the climax of my story!!!!

Would you believe that close friend of mine who told me to shut up and to not talk to candy was the same person she talked to in a retreat? She was her facilitator and her prayer partner and to top it all off, our mutual friend the one who introduced Candy to CCF was bedmates with that close friend of mine!
Wow mind blown right?

My friend was telling me how God erased everything she knew about Candy (of course, I'm her friend, if she knew who Candy was then, her thoughts would have probably been tainted) she genuinely prayed with her. Again, it was proof that God was in control.

Candy told my friend of her desires to talk to me (they said that they had a very madrama encounter)-- I will leave this part for Candy to share. After the retreat, my friend called me up and while she was telling me the details of the story, I heard God told me “it’s time”. I was doubtful at first. I couldn’t chew on the things my friend was telling me but the next thing I knew, I was praying and unblocking Candy on FB. I messaged her first and it was the best decision that I’ve done out of all these years that I’ve been held captive of unforgiving. I thought in my mind that I have forgiven her fully but God said there’s no 3/4. I’ve attached our actual conversation so that whoever reads this will be blessed by God’s story.

                                          

Candy's response:

As soon as I read Candy’s messages, I fell on my knees and cried out to God profusely and said to Him "I thought you were done with me, I thought the fighting was over." I was praising Him and giving Him thanks because I never thought that a sinner like me would be used for His greater glory. He made true His promises and cradled me like a baby- it was an indescribable feeling. He actually made me feel the AGAPE kind of love. I felt like I was in the movies I cried TEARS OF JOY for about 30minutes! I cried after that for several times while I was sharing it with my mentors cos the impossible became possible the Holy Spirit made me believe and be hopeful in Him. it’s like having the fruits of the Spirit come inside me all at once I was reminded that it was no longer me but HE who lives in me! Galatians 2:20

The values of our prayers are dependent deep inside of our hearts (willingness, passionate & committed.)

Jesus can make you believe that you CAN if you CAN’T only if you believe!

God is merciful that even if you have doubts just pray, be honest and He will definitely change your heart!

Candy was once my enemy but now she is my sister in Christ!

Romans 1:8-12 “ what I mean is that both you & I will be helped at the same time, you by my faith and I by yours.

Jesus has won today, tomorrow, forever & always! God loves His people! 

Thank you Father for the fresh start! You are indeed the God of perfect timing, peace, healing & restoration! To you be all the glory, honor and faith!

I love you Holy Spirit! I love you Jesus! I love you Father God!

Two sides of ME

Matthew 7:1
"Do not judge so that you will not be judged"."For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 


YOU (the devil in me)

Today, exactly a year ago, marks the day whereas my reputation was tainted; people put me to the cross and called me names. My humility and patience was tested but I thank the Lord, My Father who made sure that I won't do anything that I would regret. 

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this but my emotions dictated me to do so. Possibly, the wounds are far from being healed or probably because I'm a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, given the current circumstances. So I guess writing is better than exploding. =)

YOU, you have caused me a lot. Like you, it took me a while to have the courage to say something I really mean but unlike you, I won't let other people be in our mess. This is just between you and me. 

YOU, I thought you knew better. I thought that you're the type of YOU who would be careful enough to protect your name. Unlike you, I would do everything with CLASS to protect mine. 

YOU, you forgot about self respect and respect for others. Unlike you, over the past years, I've learned that loving yourself first is the best way to go about life. God, myself then others (in the exact same order). 

YOU, the emotional suicidal psychopath, the liar, the dependent, the attention-seeker you ruined you and your relationship to that one person who you think didn't care for you. Unlike you, the worst thing I could do when I'm mad is to trash my stuff, curse and cry myself to sleep but never ever hurt, accuse, judge and convict someone I barely know.

YOU, you took matters in your own hands. You forced someone to be with you and blame your lack of efforts to others. Unlike you, I am writing this now because I don't want to be YOU. I want to embrace the uncertainty that my relationship offers me and quit it if it doesn't serve me good anymore.

You're right, the truth shall prevail and you're right when you said that karma is on its way. Guess what? I wish you won't experience those and I pray that God would heal your wounds and make YOU extremely happy. I forgive YOU.

YOU, (the devil in me) could have been me a year ago but I'm glad I chose a different path and that path brought me to where i always wanted to be.

Thank you Lord for giving me the wisdom and the strength to move forward. You are indeed faithful to your promises! lastly, Thank you for giving me a very loving and supportive family!

"Let go and let God"


ME  (To God, be all the glory, honor and faith)

Highest to lowest

SAGADA

Plethora of nothingness

The never ending journey of tomorrow

i thrive

i thrive to understand the odious cosmos of what lies ahead

if only stumbling was plausible

if only giving up was acceptable

then i wouldn't have to face tomorrow

Restless Heart, if only you can understand that you have been

beaten up for countless times

then you won't have to endure the impalpable route of faith

You'd figure it out

the devastating game of the brave and the heartless 

Psycho

Only poetry soothes your soul, music to keep you alive

When you know darling that truth is more obvious than the lie

When you know that you should put aside animosity,

And give yourself a chance to survive

You have yet to learn about altruism because you feed your absurdism

With your hateful heart, with your lack of trust in life

She guides you to safety but you fight

You antsy, antsy little boy when your journey should be easy as pie

Your filthy mouth, buried her alive

Hate is not practiced, an enduring soul

Forgiveness is the light of tomorrow

Hush now, it’s over

Open your eyes, your senses

 The whiff of the cigarette slowly fades away

Inhale the scent of your last memories of her

As she exhales and exit with a smile on her face                  

Happy Birthday

There's too much love in my heart

Poems

Too late

Butterflies, rainbow and Honey comb scent,wake up! Slow kisses, hands clasped together, Wake up!  
Do i want to wake up?              
                          
Uncertainty, tears and frustration, please stop! Heart beat fading, Throbbing, suffocation, stop! 
Do i want to stop?                  
                                                         
Gasping for air, cold misty breeze, choose! Electric touch, soft spoken words, choose! 
Do i have a choice?

Tongue tied, emotions pulled back, someday i'll know my heart,a second too late. Am i too late?

I thought i knew,

i never knew i needed YOU.

Wake me up! stop me! Choose me! It's too late


                            

 Brand new day

Tick tok says the loud heartbeat, almost coming out of the chest. 

Coookooroo the sound of the ever impatient rooster in the backyard. 

Click clack busy helper cooking in the kitchen 

Swoosh,swooshh the streets are starting to hustle and bustle

Ghfftyvxauh people started to open their mouths, vocal exercise 

Light coming in the window, eyes are already squinting, the mind hastily started working, trying to sort out the most apt thoughts for the first decision of the day, it's trying....trying, thriving to squeeze something good to come out but immediately thwarted by what is it again? In the doldrums.

Then it spoke, without much thought and care: Good Morning! go back to bed. Go back to bed! 

Thoughts started to swoon then the body automatically shut down. 

It's a brand new day. 

What heals me

Aside from God the father

What heals me are my BOOKS, MUSIC and YOGA

Too much stress and too much drama, so i decided to F work today and listen to Mumford and Sons, finish Aleph and go to yoga. sometimes you just got to do what you got to do, for your sanity and for a lil' bit of happiness.

Mumford and Sons- I WILL WAIT

“I gaze lovingly at "Hilal" a love that is reflected through time or what we imagine to be time, as in a mirror. She was never mine and never will be; that is how it is. We are both creators and creatures, but we are also puppets in God's hands, and there is a line we cannot cross, a line that was drawn for reasons we cannot know. We can approach and even dabble our toes in the river but we are forbidden to plunge in and let ourselves be carried along by the current.”
― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

Chocolates

New life

by: Zino Zagala

With each new wind that comes
we are shaken free from dead leaves and overdue invitations of sleeping owls and crows.
With each fresh northward and westward jolt
we are brought closer to the coming new batch of blooms and birds.
As the seasons run their fingers through our head of pines and cherry blossoms,
and our fruits are scattered across the feet of time and space
new life will be found and will become more than simply moments between violent bursts and gentle breezes.
New life will become constant.
New life will become forever,
and new life will finally be life the wind will hold instead of smother,
kiss rather than carry away,
and guide rather than conquer.

In the new life found through a thousand seasons of winter and spring,
coming winds no longer will shake to renew,
but shake to say “simply passing through”.

As I read this poem written by a good friend who I thought at first was the perfect definition of “Apathetic” but in all fairness, I was inspired by it and it made me realize that some people may try their best to cover the emotional leaks that they have in their lives but at the end of the day, they unconsciously prevail their own silence in one way or another. :)

But anyways, I’m sharing this because I loved the context of the poem, it is like a long version of this quote which I really like “Life is like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you are gonna get”. it is true “new life is constant”, there is no perfect formula on how to get the yummy-iest chocolate ever inside the box, not unless we look at the labels and pick whatever it is that we want to have but where’s the fun of it? Or not unless, we are born to follow a specific routine and that we are called “robots” though I know some and it pains me to see how unfulfilled they are with their lives, full of boundaries and restrictions. People who are controlled and become selfish oh well, you can only pray for them because the moment you dip your finger in their water you can possibly become like them.

 Point is Life should be taken as it is, enjoy and savor every dark chocolate, mint chocolate until you get your favorite taste of chocolate and because you waited for it, it will give you a sense of appreciation or we can choose our chocolates each day but it’s not every day that we are lucky to have that privilege or probably we get tired of it and choose a different one until we find that sense of fulfillment but I say, just take them, eyes closed, open mouth, happy heart and be surprised of  the adventure of tasting each and every chocolate that you are gonna get.

Besides all of them are chocolates, all of them are supposed to be good.

You’ll never know, maybe all your life you just wanted to have a milk chocolate but because you believe that there is something more to life, you taste something better.

“New life is constant, new life is forever”

This too shall pass

I Corinthians 10:12 
"This too shall pass."

They say that wisdom without application is worthless, I never thought that life can hit me this hard, when I’m already thriving and suffocated. It’s hard to actually apply the things that I’ve learned in my walk as a Christian with this experience. As I look back and ponder on the things that I have learned, I couldn’t quite grasp the Idea of forgiving and deal with criticism. I think God wants me to learn it now, as I read this in the bible, Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." I’m blessed that I have a loving Father who talks to me, who knows my ways and who knows my heart even if I haven’t started talking to Him yet. He says: people make mistakes therefore it is essential that you learn how to deal with criticism. Not all criticism is constructive; quite often people's disapproval of your actions is personal and offensive. You must not become defensive or react in anger. You are called to be patient and wise when you deal with disagreements and conflict. You must listen carefully and respond lovingly. Your response to criticism must be done in a godly manner. You must accept everyone’s mistake and trust ME to set things right.



So I asked myself: ~do you have the patience to burn in the fire of your Soul's purification? Can you allow your ego to be burned up through the humble trials of the human experience? Can you die to the fear of your fears and face a new fear daily knowing that it is how you grow?  I know in my heart that humility is the key to overcome this, which I am just one out of the many seekers who are unique and special in their own way that thrives for the meaning of life. This experience was a shock and it caught me off guard but God told me that “this too shall pass” 



So I let go, I give up and I will accept all the things that will come my way and apply the knowledge that’s within me. We all signed up for stress and complications in search of love and for the infinite, “What then shall we say to all this? If God is for us, who can be against us? Who can be our foe, if God is on our side? He who did not withhold or spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all other things?”Romans 8: 31-32



So I say, I will have a good fight for you Lord, the one that is just and walk in your affirmation.1 Corinthians 13:6-7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Word impacts lives

Consider, even just for a heartbeat.

I tell that to myself.

Sometimes we are so busy in our lives that we tend to forget the people that really matters, the people who gave us utmost importance when we need something, our punching bags whenever we want to vent, and we do or say hurtful unreasonable stuff to them merely because we just want to be our selfish selves. We forget the people who helped us get there or who is helping us or walking with us to reach our specific goals in life, who believes in us even if we have lost faith in ourselves. These people are silent, just letting us be, they give us unconditional love, they don’t ask for appreciation or our efforts to be with them. They just take whatever we give and somehow suffer in silence, just so we can spread our wings and fly or just because it makes them happy when they see us happy.

These people knows you and have your best interest at heart, they speak not using their mouth but their heart. They build bridges and try to connect, communicate and compliment you, the best possible way they know how. They listen to our unspoken word, they understand and affirm. They guide us and hope that it’s for the best and when all else fail in our lives, they will be the one to pick us up, comfort us and encourage us to stand up and face life again head on.

Let’s focus on the heart, to be firm less often and affirm much more, positive words has positive outcome.

So if you know these people, don’t let go, love them and cherish them every waking moment.

Thank you to my family and friends but I take this time to thank my Tita Des, it’s her 45^th birthday says my lola. She’s my role model ever since I was a kid, she spent most of her time with me during those times that she was single, we would go to mass together and she would give me a treat whenever I behave or when she doesn’t have money she would just say Good girl and I would walk proudly. She also taught me how to color and doodle perfectly before she goes to work, I remember she says:  “Color the outline of the figure first and from there, work your way by shading it in one direction” and that changed my life forever. They say you need to spend time with those you want to influence. “Be a good model because your children will become who you are today” 1 Corinthians 11:1

So here I am pursuing my dream to become an Architect just like her because when I grow up, I want to be exactly like her only thinner and of course maybe better. I kid. (Not really) I know she is a tough act to follow but I’ll try my best to do so even if I’m a hybrid of all craziness.  Sorry for the headaches and heartaches, though I’m not quite sure if I can be consistent with it but the long and the short of it is 

Thank you tita! Happy birthday, I love you!

"Insist on yourself, Never imitate."

What a treat to sit and stare at our empty house while my family enjoy every second of their vacation in Boracay. Though I wonder if it is really a pleasing occurrence or a plethora of nothingness, since I am writing this blog, it means that my mind is idle, wandering and I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing which is studying. So ergo, I guess being alone is not doing me good.

I’m fascinated on how are mind works, how it filters what it wants to think or give the go signal to direct what it wants to do, Our minds continually look for evidence, why we’re thinking this and that. For example, instead of me thinking that being alone is a challenge, an opportunity to study and reflect, I opted to take the other route which is “I’m doomed and I’m lonely” why not ruin their vacation and tell them that I can’t take it? That’s my selfish self thinking because I’m too preoccupied with what I feel that I need to feel good for the expense of others. So I figured that having a good mindset  would take us the extra mile and not just that, practicing humility is a must. Yes, it’s not easy but if we don’t follow through, we will be back to the same pit hole that we were once in. so instead of sulking and feeding our minds with negativity, why don’t we just embrace or see that every setback is a challenge and it’s a never ending journey of adventure in our lives and continually look for evidence that what will do us good and lastly, to have that thought in mind that HE got our backs.

Before quitting, think again. Before deciding, think again. Before speaking, think again.

"It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how they are themselves." 

Feels so close

Happy tune! :) 

See, every cloud has a silver lining.

 Giddy, giddy me!

FEEL SO CLOSE

by: Calvin Harris

"i feel so close to you right now

IT'S LIKE A FORCE FIELD

i wear my heart upon my sleeve, like a big deal

your love pours down on me, surround me like a waterfall

AND THERE'S NO STOPPING US RIGHT NOW

i feel so close to you right now" 

Vision

Vision is the power of anticipating that which will or may come to be, it serves as our motivation to strive for excellence and to attain our goals. Our passions or emotions are always a part of our vision because it drives us to all kinds of extremes. The clearer the visions, the stronger the emotions.

The good thing about having a vision it gives us direction, it simplifies everything. We approach it with caution because that’s what we think is most important, it can be our schedule and our lifestyle. We’ll do everything we need to do, to prepare for what might be. Without a clear vision, we easily get distracted. You would have no relational encompass, financial and so on and so forth.

Our vision gives us purpose, a reason to live. Our visions are uniquely our own, no one can define you or me. Our vision would give us sense of fulfillment. Especially, if that is what we’re called to do then it will give us joy and pleasure. Our call will always use our talent, it will always ask us to be a good steward whether it is time, talent or money. We mature in preparation to the situation, no matter how hard it may seem it would enable us to endure it.

A vision doesn’t necessarily need an immediate action because like they say “haste makes waste”. it requires patience because visioneering is a process, it is not a rapid succession. The vision matures with us and it requires time. But of course, vision demands change it implies movement but a vision requires a champ.

God wants us to be like Him that’s why he wants us to be excellent. We must know that our vision is just an extension of HIS vision and His timing is always perfect, let’s all discover and participate what we are created to do, our purpose in this life. If God gave us this vision then He’ll fulfill it and He’ll prepare us. God will never lead you to compromise anything if it is His will. We are just one puzzle in this world that would fill out the wonderful big puzzle that God has planned for everyone. As we wait, let’s investigate because it will give us further definition, it might seem that nothing is happening but waiting does not reflect a lack of faith, usually it means evidence of wisdom.

----“Often you and I are the obstacles standing in the way of our receiving a desired miracle. Our request may be right. The timing may not be a problem. But when our lives are wrong, God says”before I grant your request, I want you to grow. Put that sin away. Change your attitude. Stop the practice, end the pattern, get off the merry go round, reconcile that relationship, soften your spirit, repent, and receive forgiveness. GROW! Probably, none of us can understand how much God wants us to change that impossible circumstance, touch that untouchable person, and move that immovable mountain in our lives. We matter to Him and He wants to meet our needs and grants our requests if he will free Him to do it. When our request is right, when the timing is right and the person is right, God says GO.”

Mont Blanc is LOVE!

                                                  Expensive pen for an expensive signature

Dear Mont Blanc,

Ohhh love at first sight! i Fancy you,You inspire me. i shall have you in June :)
hmmm which one?

ETOILE DE MONTBLANC ETOILE MÉDITERRANÉE BALLPOINT PEN ($2,450) or
ETOILE DE MONTBLANC ETOILE MYSTÉRIEUSE FOUNTAIN PEN ($15,000)


It will be a great addition to my shiny things. :)
okay, gotta stop dreaming andlovE start working! 

Haste makes waste

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.” 
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Thank you CSO! :)

Who would have thought that I’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day? The day before V-day, I had a chip on my shoulder and I was totally prepared to cry over my downloaded sappy movies and eat ice cream. Of course, Drastic times calls for drastic measures.  I guess, it’s true what they say, it comes when you least expect it. I don’t know how I’ll describe my experience but it gave me an experience of a lifetime, it was not an arm and a leg type of date, it was pretty simple actually but what i enjoyed the most are the conversations and how wholesome and sweet the day went for us.I mean, how would you feel if you were wearing your dirty, wet, you smell like your dog,  tattered clothes with acne cream on your face then someone would come up to you with a flower and your favorite donuts? First, I thought it’s his method to his madness but after awhile my face was flushed with kilig madness because then I knew that his efforts are genuine. We spent the day watching sappy movies, had fruitful conversations over dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and lastly, had an awesome night cap while watching the stars in the sky. I felt as if the day went by as New York minutes and I didn’t want it to end. I felt like I was in the movies something like “A walk to remember“ where they were dancing in the moonlight because that’s exactly what we did, “A lot like love’s” movie clip of singing in the car and dancing, “Before sunset’s” intellectually stimulating conversations and lastly, the perfect way to describe what we have is “The notebooks” quote, “The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.” I always thought that V-day is just another hallmark holiday but when it hits you, then you’ll realize how wonderful it is to celebrate it with your precious one. It’s true, what they say “if you don’t want to look stupid, then you don’t deserve to be in love”~a lot like love.

Valentine’s Day reminds us to make an effort for our loved ones but it is so much better if we put in effort everyday and make everyday as if it's Valentine’s Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!  

Close but no cigar

Passage from “Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery”

“Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps.. Perhaps..Love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.”

“Perhaps after all our worries and questions, we’ll discover that all along God had the right thing at the right time for us. perhaps His plan is more wonderful than anything we could create by ourselves-whether it comes with “pomp and blare” or quietly,” like a friend”

Perhaps…perhaps... We should entrust our questions of “how?” and “who” and “when” into his tender care”

Sure we were great, we sure do know that love existed but I believe that God wanted us to stop it before we create bitterness and hatred to each other, our knowledge for romance wasn’t enough to have that kind of relationship, even my readiness and wisdom for commitment was so shallow and selfish and he on the other hand, doesn’t even have an idea of how he feels, a bit of a loose cannon. God gave us this wonderful gift of affection that we didn’t know how to use, we hastily did the unthinkable without taking precautions, our team up was so well-liked that we felt the need to please everyone, without thinking if it will do us good. They say that if you get emotionally attached then you give a part of your heart and that’s exactly what we did and it brought us both joy and sadness. We were so ahead of God without consulting what he wanted us to enjoy and learn, so as I look back, God merely wanted us to enjoy friendship. God knows that we weren’t ready because we were still battling our own personal turmoil.

I’m elated on how God is changing my heart, on how he wanted me to glorify him by doing everything for him, his way, to point to his greatness and reflect His goodness. My selfless desire to do what’s best for him,stood out so I dug a hole and buried all my hopes for him, I submitted all my feelings and longings to God and told him “One day, if you want to dig this up again, I know you can make it happen but if it isn’t your will then it stays there forever” all I can say right now that what happened was a complete success, now we must learn that friendship, should have an appropriate pace, focus and space.same goes with romance ~ "do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" song of songs 8:4

Day 4: Better now

Cut the drama and move on. when you feel that sense of peace, claim it!

I always say "oh life you're so messy and unpredictable but na-ah you won't get the best of me!"

if there's one important thing that i have learned in 2011 that would be "sacrificial love"

and deym, i really feel good about it. no regrets, no bitterness or whatsoever.

I've learned a lot about myself too, how much i can give and adjust, how far i can go to care for someone and the test of it all was, how i can let go and still see that person as a blessing in my life. "I DID IT!" :)

Our attitude in life should always be "bring it on, break me, test me" because at the end of the day, it ought to teach you a great lesson, so "stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be!" live your life! fear won't get you anywhere, embrace uncertainty! this is what we are made of and bound to do, it is for us to learn and experience life as it should be!

"When we want to grow, when we want Love, when we want to create a new life - uncertainty is always something we come up against. And in the fear of the uncertainty and the assumption of a negative outcome, we don't do anything. And as a result we keep ourselves trapped."

I always hear this quote and now, i really appreciate it.

"laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live" 

So tomorrow when i wake up, i would gladly tell myself: "you did it olgs!, so now smile! then go and find your new teacher or better yet it'll find you!"

Day 2: When all hope is gone, listen to a happy tune.

I learned this song from a friend and I couldn’t be more thankful because now it’s really my go-to song whenever I feel like all hope is gone. It somehow alleviates the spiteful feeling that you have, the tune would instantly brighten up your day, be it about work, love, actually it really depends on how you interpret it but for me it is applicable in every aspect of my life. The lyrics is so straight to the point that it would instantaneously hit your core and you’d end up singing with Michael buble  and yes, he lives up to his name because he really gives you that happy bubble.

I wish I could put the music video here but because I’m a fail person meaning I-don’t-know-how. I’ll just share the lyrics and jeez people there are what you call Google and you tube :)

Haven’t met you yet by: Michael buble

I’m not surprised NOT EVERYTHING LAST, I’ve broken my heart, so many times I stopped keeping track I talked myself in, I talked myself out, I get all worked up, I let myself down.

I try very hard not to lose it, I came up with a million excuses, I thought I thought of every possibility and I KNOW SOMEDAY IT’LL ALL WORK OUT, YOU’LL MAKE ME WORK, SO WE CAN WORK TO WORK IT OUT. I promise you kid, that I’ll get so much more than I get, I JUST HAVEN’T MET YOU YET.

I MIGHT HAVE TO WAIT, I’LL NEVER GIVE UP. I guess its half timing and the other half’s luck. WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHENEVER IT’S RIGHT,YOU’LL COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND INTO MY LIFE AND I KNOW THAT WE CAN BE SO AMAZING and I know that your love is gonna change me and now I can see every possibility.

They say it’s all fair and in love and war but I WON’T NEED TO FIGHT IT, WE COULDN’T FIGHT IT, WE’LL BE UNITED.

Don’t you just love it?

Love, it will come and it’ll find you when you least expect it but for now all we have to do is, believe, have faith that it will come and make ourselves better because all precious things don’t come easily or we don’t get it easily. It is a constant struggle because it prepares us to our one great love.

We’ll never know maybe tomorrow we’re bound to sing neyo’s song, all in God’s perfect timing.

“I’m in love, love love and I think about my real thing, got a love that will make your heart sing, love love you got me singing la la la lalala”- Neyo :)